Days of Wine and Roses, and Vasectomies

The dog and the pig return

For many years, I stopped at the Dunkin’ Donuts on Route 1 before work.  I stopped doing that when I started to go to the gym before I went to the office.  However, there are other Dunkin’ Donutses in the world.  In particular, there is one in Littleton, New Hampshire.  I stopped there for some coffee, but the clerk was going to give me the dregs from a pot that had been boiling all day.  I politely declined and asked her to make a fresh pot.  With very poor grace, she made a pot, took my money, and gave me change, without a word.  As I was leaving, I heard her raging to somebody in the back, probably the owner.  I don’t know what exactly she said, but her tone was clear and I know the French words for “pig” and “dog.”  I’m not sure which one I was.  

A year or two later, I stopped in there with my brother Steve, and I had briefed him on my previous experience.  He said that we should go in and announce ourselves, saying, “The pig and the dog are back”: “Le cochon et le chien sont retournès.”  But we were too poulet-merde to do so.

7 responses to “The dog and the pig return”

  1. Kathleen Dalphonse Avatar
    Kathleen Dalphonse

    I love it! I am so spoiled by the donuts at the Little Tavern on Route One but I remember how the NH people love their Dunkin Donuts and you don’t want to face the wrath of those French Canadian transplants.

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  2. amy schacht Avatar
    amy schacht

    I know NO FRENCH, but I can make out what “poulet” and “merge” mean! And what about the Canadian favorite Tim Horton’s?

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  3. Michele Uhler Avatar
    Michele Uhler

    I love this story, not just because it involves a pig and a dog, but, because you asked the server to make a fresh pot of coffee. Bravo!

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  4. myerspat Avatar
    myerspat

    I’m loving all these anecdotes! But dagnab it, wouldn’t you know that the Like button refused to work for me? Gave me a blank WordPress pop-up. Anyway, I Like big-time.

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  5. Ellen Goldlust Avatar
    Ellen Goldlust

    Hah!

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  6. Roger Dalrymple Avatar
    Roger Dalrymple

    I once got a cup of joe at a 7/11 that had been sitting all night, and was literally undrinkable. Should have asked for a fresh pot. Never again.

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  7. mikecreveling Avatar
    mikecreveling

    On Rt 1 in Alexandria VA there was BBQ joint “The Dixie Pig” that sold more beer than barbeque. We called it the Dixie Keg. Right across Rt 1 was Dunkin Donuts! So at 2 AM, full of pulled pork, coleslaw, and beer, queezy and drunk, we’d decide what we NEEDED was hot coffee and donuts.

    We did this “cure” every time and it never worked!

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About THE BLOG

Thanks for making your way to the The Days of Wine and Roses, and Vasectomies, the personal blog of Elden Carnahan. My dad has been composing these stories as long as I can remember, either on paper or aloud around the dinner table. “You should put all your vignettes together into a book so we can sell it,” my mother would suggest from time to time.

For Christmas 2021, my sister gave Dad a Storyworth account–an online writing platform that sends you a weekly writing prompt in the form of a question. After a year or so of questions, the responses are all assembled into a hardback book. Dad took on the challenge with gusto, answering scores of questions, which often lent themselves to retellings of some of his favorite vignettes.

We’re using this blog to deliver the stories to a broader audience. Some of the posts are direct answers to Storyworth’s questions; others are stories that he wrote for other purposes. I’ll try to provide context and explanation where appropriate. Many of the images accompanying these stories were produced using DALL-E artificial intelligence, using prompts related to the stories.

Please feel free to engage with us by leaving comments, and enjoy!

-April (daughter of Elden)

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